Worst Blog Ever Fo Sho

Setting: A neighborhood where the power has inexplicably gone out

Detail: a skateboard whose underside is emblazoned with the image of the risen Christ

Character: a woman who has bad road rage

Passion of the Christ: Time 2 Shred

A small town in Nowhere, Kansas has lost power and it was up to the Son of God himself to save the day. Nowhere was a town that ran completely on electricity and without power no automobiles could run. Christ snapped his fingers and instantly obtained the most holy skateboard man ever saw; a skateboard whose underside is emblazoned with the image of the risen Christ. Christ shred his way through the town in the black of night. He was nearing the town's power plant when he noticed two car lights in the distance. He approached rapidly looking to gain some assistance. Unfortunately for the Son of God, the car had a woman driver! Not only was the woman driver female (terrible) but she had a bad case of road rage and was JEWISH! The woman, with her lead foot attempted to plow over the Son of God. However, Jesus ollied before the car could hit him, kick-flipped off the hood of the car, and mctwisted over the body of the chassis. The woman was awe struck but she needed to keep up her mission of keeping Nowhere, KS. powerless. She proceeded to chase after Christ. He continued to bust out crazy trick moves and grinds. He rode a power line for a quarter mile in order to stay above the road. The power line was cut by a ninja star thrown by the woman in the car. Jesus ollied off the power line into the most amazingly, perfect, holy trick ever. He triple kick-flipped into a 2 second hold of a benihana into a double front flip with a 2160 rotation. (JESUS FTW!) The woman was instantly converted to Christianity. She lost her case of road rage and helped Jesus find the power plant. Jesus used his magical Jesus powers to help save the day and the town of Nowhere, KS.