Flarf!!!

"Why do men have nipples?"

Why do men have nipples? Because it doesn't do a man any harm to have
nipples, there is no reason why this would change. Brace yourselves for a low blow, tough guy. Hit the "Thanks Button" on lower right hand side.

The distinguishing features of mammals, from whales to mice, are two: having hair and suckling their offspring. Is There a Doctor in the House?

Why do men have nipples? And why do I have to download a patch to fix them? :) Do they even have holes in them?

Why did Chris brown beat up rihanna? Why is my poop green? I love to have someone do some kinky thing like fuck a pillow?

"Hit the snooze button"

How often do you hit the snooze button on you alarm clock in the morning? I hate the snooze button. I swear, it's every day with this dude. Consider super gluing your snooze button in order to make it impossible to use. Sometimes I hit the wrong button. America hit the Snooze Button once more.

Welcome to the official Facebook Page of Hit The "Snooze Button" Atleast 5 Times Before Getting Out Of Bed.

Oooh, I made a biiiig mistake last night. Not now Lord, call me again -- a little bit later. 15 extra minutes in the morning can make a big difference in your life. Hit the mega-snooze button and skipped that run. I'll grab a quick cig if I'm lucky and scramble getting ready for work.

"Trippin Balls"

The highest level of tripping. Completely freaking out. Continuous hallucinations and voices. Listen to trippin balls radio. Listen to and buy Bumpin' Tacos music on CD Baby. Love or hate Pokémon, this shirt is awesome!

Optimus Rhyme! Bitch be trippin Balls, yo! True genius has yet to be fully realized. Cocktails first, Kickball Later! I was out in Joshua Tree. People that have non-human souls. Team Rocket attempts to steal Pikachu once again, but this time, Ash has had enough. Combing the internet with a fine tooth comb. Told everyone in there fish were tryin to eat his brains. My girlfriend started to have sex with me, riding me in the dentist chair! I end up trippin' balls all afternoon, killing myself. Yea dude one time I was trying to get fucked on caps and it wasn't working so I stuck them up my asshole and I swear I was trippin balls. Also many people say that my asshole was on acid once and it was trippin. The dog (bear) jumped on the table while we were eating and two of my mom's friends took a picture with the flash on. Bitch be trippin Balls, yo!

Worst Blog Ever Fo Sho

Setting: A neighborhood where the power has inexplicably gone out

Detail: a skateboard whose underside is emblazoned with the image of the risen Christ

Character: a woman who has bad road rage

Passion of the Christ: Time 2 Shred

A small town in Nowhere, Kansas has lost power and it was up to the Son of God himself to save the day. Nowhere was a town that ran completely on electricity and without power no automobiles could run. Christ snapped his fingers and instantly obtained the most holy skateboard man ever saw; a skateboard whose underside is emblazoned with the image of the risen Christ. Christ shred his way through the town in the black of night. He was nearing the town's power plant when he noticed two car lights in the distance. He approached rapidly looking to gain some assistance. Unfortunately for the Son of God, the car had a woman driver! Not only was the woman driver female (terrible) but she had a bad case of road rage and was JEWISH! The woman, with her lead foot attempted to plow over the Son of God. However, Jesus ollied before the car could hit him, kick-flipped off the hood of the car, and mctwisted over the body of the chassis. The woman was awe struck but she needed to keep up her mission of keeping Nowhere, KS. powerless. She proceeded to chase after Christ. He continued to bust out crazy trick moves and grinds. He rode a power line for a quarter mile in order to stay above the road. The power line was cut by a ninja star thrown by the woman in the car. Jesus ollied off the power line into the most amazingly, perfect, holy trick ever. He triple kick-flipped into a 2 second hold of a benihana into a double front flip with a 2160 rotation. (JESUS FTW!) The woman was instantly converted to Christianity. She lost her case of road rage and helped Jesus find the power plant. Jesus used his magical Jesus powers to help save the day and the town of Nowhere, KS.

Best Players in College Basketball

Best Point Guard- John Wall (Kentucky)

Wall is a prototype point guard. At 6'4 he is taller than most players who play that position. His size and knack for exploding to the rim and the ability to knock down the most clutch of jumpers, makes him an offensive asset, especially when the game enters crunch time.

Best Shooting Guard- Jeremy Hazell (Seton Hall)

Hazell is by far my most odd and probably biased choice in this collection of players, but his place on the list is for a reason. He can hardly play defense to save his own life, but he can make the ball go through the hoop, A LOT. He lights up the scoreboard specializing his game around the three ball. Hazell has been known for quite a while now as a green light shooter. This means he can bomb triples at will and his coach won't pull him if he's having an off night. This is because Hazell doesn't have off nights. He currently is 8^th in the nation in scoring.

Best Small Forward- Evan Turner (Ohio State)

Overall the most complete player in the country in terms of all-around game. He can shoot the three and has a pure midrange shot. His ball handling is similar to that of a point guards. Of most of the college athletes who are ready for the NBA he is also in the upper echelon of athleticism. Turner is also a solid defender, which is something that is rare at his position nowadays.

Best Power Forward- Luke Harangody (Notre Dame)

I have no idea how this man is an amazing college basketball player. His presentation is that of an overweight, ugly, white goon but he plays like a small Tim Duncan. His range extends out past the 3 point line. His post game is solid as compared to other power forwards. He also is 3^rd in the nation in points per game. Some say he is this year's Tyler Hansbrough.

Best Center- Cole Aldrich (Kansas)

A GREAT shot blocker and post player with the ability to elevate from a standing position is all Cole Aldrich needs on his resume to be considered the best center in college basketball by far. He has experience playing in big games, and has defensively shutdown top tier centers in the BIG 12 conference.

 

Virginia Tech – Basketball School?

Who would have guess in the beginning of the year that Virginia Tech would have a better record than North Carolina? If we were talking about football I would have, but BASKETBALL?!? Yep, you'd better believe that those Tar Heels weren't expecting it either. UNC entered the basketball season as #4 in the USA Today preseason poll. The held that ranking through the first week until an 87-71 BEATDOWN against the Syracuse Orange. On the other end of the spectrum was the Virginia Tech Hokies. VT entered the year unranked, as usual. They started off very slowly with an early loss to Temple, who at the time was getting very little to no national respect and recognition. They then began winning, ALOT. The Hokies stormed through their non-conference schedule beating many power conference opponents. The notable opponents to fall to the Hokies basketball squad were: Georgia, Penn State, Seton Hall, and Miami. Virginia Tech was also able to defend Cassell Coliseum against Boston College, before they went on the road to take down hated rival Virginia. Virginia was able to hit a miraculous three point jumper to send the game into overtime but it wasn't enough to stop the Virginia Tech assault led by, of all people, J.T. Thompson. Virginia Tech returned home after a crushing road defeat to the U. The matchup pitted the underdog Hokies against the North Carolina Tar Heels. The Tar Heels had previously beaten the Hokies at the Dean Smith Center, the North Carolina home court, earlier in the year. The setup was that of a perfect little guy upset over a powerhouse. The Hokies proceeded to down the Tar Heels by 4. However, the Hokies couldn't celebrate for long as they would play another impressive opponent, Clemson, in a couple days. In case you were in a coma for the past few weeks, you may have noticed that we get snow here at Virginia Tech, A LOT of snow. The days preceding the massive matchup between the Hokies and the Tigers were no different. Due to inclement weather the Virginia Tech athletic department thought that alumni and some student wouldn't want to make a difficult trip to go see their team play. Oh, they were wrong. They let students show up and get into the game for free, pending there were available seats. There were some available seats, the key word being "some". Easily over 1000 VT students lined up outside Cassell looking to claim these seats. I was one of those people who were there at 2:30 who was actually able to enter into the game. It was definitely worth the wait. The Hokies pummeled the favored Clemson Tigers on their way to a double digit win. With this simple recap of the season so far being said I propose a basic question, "Is VT turning into a basketball school?" With the talent on the team and the support of the fans my wish is YES!